Essence
by Lady Katy Hawk
Summary: Kanda have no respect for Finders, even less in his first months at the European Headquarters. They in return feel very much the same. Much is still to be learned about the new, bad tempered exorcist from the Asian Branch. T for, yeah well, Kanda.
1. Chapter 1

**Essence**

_Summary: Kanda have no respect for Finders, even less in his first months at the European Headquarters. They in return feel very much the same. Much is still to be learned about the new, bad tempered exorcist from the Asian Branch.  
_

* * *

_Chapter one_

"Chief!" Komui looked up when Reever ran into his office.  
"Yees?" Komui asked, a little suspicious. He had no intention of working that day, but if Reever had gotten wind of that.. well, let's say the result wouldn't be pretty.

"You've gotta come. General Tiedoll and Marie are both away on a mission and the situation is getting completely out of hand and we need you to.."

"I wont work! I have a lunch appointment with my darling Lenalee and you can't force mee!"  
Reever looked a little bewildered at the chief. "What? No, it's not that!"  
Komui looked positively relieved. "Oh good!" He paused, a little annoyed.  
"Then what?"

"It's that kid Kanda! He got back from his mission this morning! All the finders that went with him died, and the whole order seems to be ganging up on him and Tiedoll or Marie isn't here to prevent him from saying anything stupid AND WILL YOU PLEASE FOLLOW ME BEFORE SOMEBODY GETS HURT!"

Komui looked a little startled at Reever. And then, without any complaints, he ran out the door, followed closely by Reever.

oOo

_"I've heard he ditched the Finders who were hurt.."_

_"I was told that he ..."_

_".. expect, he's a real nasty piece of s.."_

_"How come he always return alive_?"

_".. heard that he uses Finders as shields, to keep himself from dying!"_

_"No way!"_

_"I've heard that too!"_

The voices around him were buzzing like angry bees. Kanda had returned to the headquarters that very morning, alone but with a piece of Innocence. The teen had reported in, unharmed and had delivered the Innocence to Hevlaska before going down to the mess. He was annoyed, tired and hungry. He'd arrived in the mess just as the big lunch run began. He had an entire table to himself, much to his enjoyment. To say that he disliked the others company were the polite version. He loathed them. Except maybe for Marie, and that only because the blind exorcist knew when to shut up and leave him alone.

Kanda ate slowly, a scowl firmly in place on his young face. He hated that he couldn't have food brought to his room, like he had when he was a part of the Asian branch. Here, at the European headquarters it was - for some idiotic reason - required to be 'social'. He'd only been in the European branch a little more than two month and he could still count the times he'd actually eaten in the mess on one hand. Despite his 14 years, he'd been away on missions most of the time. But since the fucktard known as Tiedoll had proclaimed that he was too young to travel alone, he'd been forced to travel with Finders. Which, he gathered and almost smirked, had secured his reputation as the most anti-social, ill-tempered foul mouthed exorcist that the Black Order had the pleasure of housing. That meant he was left alone when finally at home.

Kanda didn't regard anybody with much else than contempt, and he expected the idiots to leave him alone. If they didn't, well then he would very kindly ask them to fuck off. The only one he tolerated - and at that barely - speaking to him were Komui and that only when the supervisor gave him a mission. The damn sister complex should be locked up.

Kanda were eating silently, enjoying the thought of having successfully managed to make everybody leave him alone. He did notice the angry buzzing around him. The hushed voices. But he didn't really acknowledge it as speech and he couldn't be bothered to actually _listen _to the words. He had his eyes firmly placed on the bowl of soba in front of him with no intent of looking up. The dumbass Finders that seemed to pour into the hall pissed him off beyond reason.

Because of this he didn't notice the group of Finders walking towards him, with angry eyes and clenched fist. Kanda first noticed them when the largest of them - he hadn't really bothered learning anyone's name - slammed down his hands, staring at the young man.  
Kanda didn't flinch, didn't look up. He continued eating, much to the dismay of the man in front of him.

"Punk, look at me."

When the Finder - whose name was Matiss - still received nothing but silence and cold arrogance from the exorcist, his eyes narrowed in anger. With a snarl he wiped the table, causing the bowl of soba to fly off the table, smashing against the wall. The mess fell silent, everybody's attention focused on the exorcist and their comrade.

"Look at me when I'm talking to you!" Matiss growled. He was rewarded with an reaction from Kanda.  
The youth slowly put down his chopsticks, before looking calmly in the eyes of the man in front of him. He looked the man up and down - the finder being at least two heads taller than him. He blinked, unimpressed.

Matiss leaned in closer. "Me and my friends here, we were wondering - how come you always return alone?"

Kanda rolled his eyes at the man's weak attempt to sound intimidating. "Because unlike you retards I know how to keep myself alive." He made to stand up, but was showed firmly back in his seat by the hands of two Finders behind him. He threw a nasty look at the two finders, who found themselves taking an unconscious step backwards. "Don't fucking touch me." Kanda growled.  
He glared at the big Finder, his patience running thin at alarming rate. Matiss cracked his knuckles. "We don't believe you." the angry buzzing from the others had started again.

"Che, not my problem."

Kanda reached for his tea, and Matiss saw this as his clue to slam the cup of the table. The big man gasped in pain when his punch was blocked. Kanda stood up, throwing Matiss of balance. The man quickly caught himself, and with a angry yell both he and several others threw themselves at Kanda. A hard punch landed on the teenager's cheek, and would've sent any other flying. Kanda merely turned his head, a bruise quickly forming were the punch had hit him. Matiss breath was ragged and his face filled with anger. "You little bastard. My brother was killed on your last mission. He was an excellent finder, years of experience! What did you do to him!?"

Matiss lifted his fist to punch him again, but was yet again caught. Kanda squeezed the mans hand so hard that the sound of bones cracking against each other could be heard by those surrounding them. Matiss yelled in pain and Kanda pulled the much bigger man towards him.

"I told you to not fucking touch me." and then Matiss soared through the air, slamming into the Finders standing behind them.  
Matiss landed hard, and got on his feet quickly and turned around ready to engage again. The Finder froze, the gleam from a blade a few inches from his eye causing whatever plan of attack he had to quickly disappear. The angry voices drowned out, as the other occupants of the mess stared in shock, fear and anger at their friend Matiss, lying helpless on the floor, and the much hated exocist Kanda Yu who had his Innocence weapon pointed directly at Matiss, an unattractive frown on his face.

Such were the scene, when Komui and Reever burst through the door. The chief quickly scanned the situation. The finders around Kanda, the one on the floor, Kanda pointing Mugen directly at him. Komui took a deep breath.

"Stop this at once!" yelled Reever, dashing forward at the two. He was ignored. Kanda took a step closer to the finder, bringing the blade closer to the others eye, a wicked look on his face. Matiss yelped and scrambled backwards, crashing into the table behind him.

"Kanda, stand down." Komui's voice trailed through the room as he walked slowly towards the pair. The air was thick with tension.

"Fuck off Komui. The coward had it coming." the teen growled, advancing on his prey. Others began yelling as the blade touched Matiss' chin, drawing blood. The finder was absolutely petrified.

"Kanda!" Komui said. He didn't yell, he didn't raise his voice.

"Stand down. That's an _order_!"

Kanda froze, throwing the chief a sour look. Then he lifted Mugen in a quick motion before bringing it down. Matiss screamed, as did many of the other in the room.

A crash echoed through the mess and the surrounding audience dared to take a look. Matiss was shaking on the floor, his eyes wide and a cold sweat trailing down his temple. The table behind ham had been cleaved in two. With what seemed like very little effort from the scowling exorcist who, with a smirk on his face, sheeted his sword before turning around, walking towards the exit, Finders quickly moving out of his way.

Nobody said anything. Komui glared hard at Kanda as the youth approached him. As Kanda made to pass him, Komui stopped him by catching his left arm.

"You've gone too far this time Kanda." Komui said, his voice serious. The teen shrugged.

"Che, I told them not to touch Me." was the curt answer. He wristed his arm free from Komui's grasp. "I'll be in the forest if you feel the need to punish me." the latter was said with such arrogance and self-confidence that it caused the angry buzzing to start again. Komui sighed, and lowered his arm. Kanda walked passed him and through the door, disappearing from view. The chief looked back over the mess.

"What happened?"

TBC

* * *

_Kanda is awesome. Prick ass annoying Kanda is amazing. The Finders have a point, but who can argue with the fact that everybody simply should stop being so damn stupid._

_Chapter two is coming up._


	2. Chapter 2

**Essence**

_Summary: Kanda have very little respect for Finders, even less in his first months at the European Headquarters. They feel very much the same. Much is still to be learned about the new, bad tempered exorcist._

* * *

_Chapter two_

"You all acted against you vows as Finders, especially you Matiss." Komui looked at the finders standing in front of his desk. The chiefs eyes had taken an unnatural narrow shape, his gaze stern. "When you joined the order, you vowed to help and protect the church and the exorcists at all cost. That is what's expected of you on the battlefield _and_ when you aren't on a mission. Attacking or provoking a exorcists to the point where he felt the need to draw his weapon against you is just.. well, I can't say I've heard of anything like it before."

To their credit, the finders looked ashamed of their actions. Matiss however did still have a angry gleam in his eyes. This was not settle yet. "I apologies for attacking the kid chief Komui. But, he's just so...! He always return, unharmed and with the finders either dead or greatly injured. It's not natural!" Matiss argued, pain and anguish in his voice. And desperation. Komui sighed.

He had been wondering that himself. But according to Tiedoll, Kanda was an extremly talented fighter, one of the best they'd had in years. It could just be that he was skilled enough to avoid injury.

Komui didn't believe it.

He cleared his throat. "General Tiedoll vouched for Kanda when he left him in our care. And while he is young, he's already managed to retrieve five pieces of Innocence and that alone is only from here, the european headquarters. The losses of your team members and our comrades are tragic and every loss is mourned – I really liked your brother, Matiss. He were a good finder and a good man." Matiss slumped forward, hiding his face at Komuis words. Both he and his brother Paul had been in the order for some time, and it had come as a great shock when Paul had been reported killed in action.

"I don't trust that kid." Matiss grumbled, not lifting his head. "There's something unnatural about him." Komui didn't answer him. He studied the other finders. They all looked uncomfortable, probably a belayed reaction for their actions earlier. And yet.. in their eyes he saw the same uncertainty that plagued Matiss. The doubt.

"Kanda's got a vile tongue, I'm sure it's just.." began Komui but was cut off. "No!" Matiss looked up. "No, it's not that.. Heck, the boy probably picked up most of this words from us.. we aren't exactly all the most educated people.." the big finder shook his head.

"There is this.. unsettling air around him. Foreboding. I can't put my finger on it." the others nodded their consent as Matiss struggled to find the words to describe his gut feeling. Komui lifted his eyebrow, interested. That's new. He'd had plenty of finders, scientist and other order members complain about Kanda (in fact, all of them more or less. Except his darling sister, for some odd reason), about his behaviour, about the violence, about his language.. Central even called to check if it were true that a apostle of God could possibly use such horrid language.. But this, this uncertainty and doubt, were new.

_Interessting_.

"Not matter the reason, you provoked and attacked him. Because he returned the attack I will not punish you – he already did that. But if this repeats itself, I will have to take further actions. And of course tell Tiedoll." Komui hid his smile when the finders shot him a scared look. Tiedoll was by all of the order considered a kind man, but he had an unhealthy obsession with his charges, referring to them as his kids.. they shuddered.

"Yes chief.." Komui nodded and allowed the finders to leave. Just as they reached the door he spoke again.

"Oh, and you'll all be on monitor duty this afternoon!" the finders groaned but didn't complain. They knew better. If they did they'd probably have a robot hot on their heels in a matter of seconds. Komui rubbed his hands together, delighted. He'd gotten himself successfully out of monitor duty! And with a good excuse too! This WAS turning out to be the no-work day he had hoped for!

oOo

"I'm so bored.." The finders from the 'mess incident' as it would be known as in the future had been in the monitor room for the rest of the day. A task dreaded by everybody who could risk find themselves in the monitor room. Mainly because nothing ever happened. Ever. Watching the grass grow had more action than monitor duty.

The group of finders shared the room with the science division, who had been relieved that Komui wouldn't join them that afternoon – he usually created something completely crazy when he was on monitor duty out of sheer boredom.

It had been a perfectly boring, pleasant afternoon, with talk, relaxation and coffee brought to them by Lenalee, Komui's younger sister, a sweet girl only 11 years old. The sun was going down, and for once broke through the dark clouds surrounding the Orders Headquarters.

"Hey." Johnny said, catching the attention of the others. He'd volunteered to look at the screen while the others ate. "It looks like somebody is coming." The other occupants of the room, finders and scientist alike, joined the young scientist looking at the monitor.

"It's Jakob and his team!" said Carl, one of the finders, a grin splitting his face.

"But who's that with him?" asked Reever with a frown.

"Looks like a woman.." said Johnny, studying the screen closer. As the team of four finders and their unknown travel partner, a hood concealing the face. They all waited as the group got closer to the gate. The finder walking in front waved at the camera. "_Carl Salling reporting in._"

"Welcome home." said Reever, grabbing the microphone. "Who is that with you?"

Carl smiled. "_You got Matiss anywhere near you?_" he asked.

Matiss stepped up beside Reever. "I'm here." he said, smiling. "Welcome back my friend."

"_Matiss! Great! Look who we ran into on our way back!_" Carl removed the hood from the stranger. A woman looked up. "Hi brother!" Matiss stared before making a strangled sound of happiness and bolted right out of the door. Reever smiled, shaking his head.

Matiss pushed up the Gate with the help of a couple of other finders, ran the short distance between the gate and the waiting people, throwing himself around the neck of the woman, hugging her tightly. "Lillian!" he almost sobbed as he hugged her closely. She returned the hug, a smile on her face. Matiss looked at Carl and his team members. "How..?"

"We ran into her on our way here. She recognized our uniforms, told us your name and we offered to take her here so she could visit you." Matiss looked at his sister, amazed. "How did you even know which way to go..?"

She shrugged, keeping her eyes low. "I just started walking, hoping I would run into some of your colleagues. I wanted to visit you after all what has happened." Matiss smiled, taking her arm, leading her and the others towards the gate where the Gatekeeper waited to check them.

"Well, I'm sure glad you are here. But what's happened? Something back home?"

"The death of our brother." she said, quietly, her shoulders shaking. Matiss shared a surprised look with the others before stopping and taking her hand. "Listen sis.. he wouldn't want you to risk yourself because of that. He were a soldier." Matiss felt his voice going hoarse. He ruffled her hair, a gentle smile on his face. "He wouldn't want you to feel sad for him. He did his duty. We all live with the risk." They stopped in front of the Gatekeeper, the door checking each and one of them over before they could be allowed inside the order. As Matiss lead his sister towards the Gatekeeper, a thought suddenly hit him. "Hey sis, how come you knew of Pauls death? I never told anybody back at home about it.." he began, but was cut off when the Gatekeeper started screaming.

"_I see a pentagram. A pentagram, a pentagram, a pentagram_.. _AKUMA_!_ Shut the gate! Seal the doors! An Akuma!_" The door slammed shut close before the eyes of the Finders who whirled around in fear, looking around for the unseen enemy.

Reever grabbed the microphone. When the Gatekeeper had started yelling everybody in the monitor room and the great hall had stopped dead in their tracks, their blood freezing.  
"Finders, get to safety!" he yelled, before screaming for somebody to find Komui. Lenalee had run off looking for her brother before he even knew she was in the room. The chief joined them few seconds later (Reever had the sneaking suspicion that the chief had been sleeping in his office _again._. The missing beret confirmed his suspicion.)

"What's going on?" Komui asked, fear in his voice. He kept Lenalee close to him, never letting go of her hand.

"We don't know. A team of finders returned a few minutes ago, Matiss sister were traveling with them and then Gatekeeper started screaming." Komui looked at Reever. "The sister?" The section leader nodded, sweat on his brow.

The finders outside had all either taken cover from the so far unknown enemy and the others had started trying to force open the gate, panicking.

"Open up! Let us in!" Carl screamed, as the other finders began to realise that the door would never open. The Order wouldn't risk the safety of the many for the sake of the few. Matiss stared at Lillian, his sweet sister, tears in his eyes. "Lillian.. why.." he sobbed, as the thing he now knew not to be his sister took a step back, a cold smile on her face, her shoulders shaking not from crying, but from barely controlled laughter.

"I guess she missed your sweet, _dead_ brother." it snerred, it's voice twisted and unnatural. And, before the eyes of the shocked finders and people watching from inside the hall, the skin of the woman began to fell of, revealing a sickly looking monster. An akuma. But not the heart shaped one they'd all seen before. It's appearance far more grotesque, with swords instead of arms, its skin ghost white and with only one, blood red eye. Venom dripped from the blades and body, forming a small puddle around the akuma. A sick laughter sounded from the beast. "What.. what are you.." stuttered Matiss, staring at the akuma, transfixed by horror.

"That's a level two." whispered Komui and everyone in the room looked at him with disbelief in their eyes. Level twos wasn't unheard off, but they were rare and so far only the generals had been dealing with these special kind of vicious monsters. But there were no generals at headquarters right now. They were on their own.

"Chief." Komui felt Reever walk up beside him. "Can the gate hold out a level two?" Komui pulled Lenelee, who'd started crying when the akuma transformed, close to him.

"I hope so."

"Are there any exorcists here at headquarters?" asked Johnny, shaking and his eyes wide. Every occupant of the room knew the answer when a dark look crossed Komui's face.

"No. Kanda left hours ago. And we don't know where he is now..."

oOo

Kanda opened his eyes when he heard a faint scream. The sun was setting and everything had fallen silent in the depths of the forest. He'd been meditating in a clearing in the secluded area for the last few hours and had lost track of time. Not that he'd be planning to keep track of it. He knew his master wouldn't appreciate him being out of headquarters at this hour..

"Che." Like he cared what that demented old man thought. Kanda closed his eyes again, annoyed by what he assumed was yet another crazy invention from Komui, intending to sink back in between the silent walls of his mind. Another scream and a louder crash interrupted the silence. Kanda shot up, looking around. He felt uneasy. He frowned, before unsheathing Mugen and began to run towards the headquarters, the sound of battle seeming to grow louder and louder by the second.

"_Brother dearest, pleeease let me kill you." _Matiss felt for the second that day the terror of being the target of a predator. Only this time he were sure he wouldn't get away with his life. He and the other finders were protected behind the talismans Carl and his team had had with them, but against a level two it would only be a matter of time before it would break through. The akuma lifted its arm – sword, preparing to strike again. The finders both in and out of the Order could only stare as it began to hammer the two poisonous swords against the barrier that seemed to tremble under the force from the undead demon.

"We can't hold it!" Carl screamed, as the first crack in the barrier appeared. Nobody got a chance to answer him, before – with one last, powerful hit, the talisman shattered like glass around them. Matiss, unable to move as the giant tail from the beast prevented them from fleeing, could only raise is arm to protect himself as the sword rushed towards him. He screamed, and felt the blade against his skin. But nothing more. He opened his eyes, and saw a small cut on his arm. Believing the akuma had missed, he looked up at it with something close to relief. Only to find himself staring into the smiling face of the akuma. It regarded him with a cold, sadistic smile, venom dripping from its swords. A sick anticipation could be seen in its one eye.

Reality hit Matiss with the force of a landslide, as he looked at his arm and in terror he saw the small pentagrams appearing around the wound. The ice cold terror, the knowing of what would happen next, made him a little unaware of his surroundings. Therefore he didn't notice the blue gleam of a sword, the angry curses and the surprised hiss from the akuma as it drew back. He did however notice when the arm that'd been dying in front of his eyes suddenly seemed to lose its grip on his upper arm. In numb terror he saw it fall to the ground, where it dissolved into nothing. And then the pain hit him. With a scream he grabbed his now bleeding arm, or what was left of it. The others quickly began to bandage the wound with what they had, and in his delirious state Matiss looked up and saw, standing in front of him and the others, between the akuma and the Order with his sword raised, the blackhaired exorcist he'd fought with earlier that day.

Komui and the others could only stare helplessly as the akuma poisoned the unarmed finder. Once the venom had gotten into his system, nothing could be done. What happened next all went so fast that they actually had to review the recording later that night to be sure what had actually happened.

It had been Lenalee who saw him first, when Kanda emerged from the forest, Mugen drawn and ready and a face promising a painful death. The exorcist quickly surveyed the situation before he, moving faster than any human should be able to, ran and jumped in front of finders, who stared at him in shock as he separated Matiss infected arm from the rest of his body with a clean cut. Kanda didn't waste time with the finders, as he turned around, facing the hissing akuma. Both his hands tightly around Mugen, his youthful face turned hard as he regarded his opponent. "What the fuck are you?" he said, not lowering the sword.

"_It's a level two akuma!" _Kanda heard Komui's voice yell from the speakers, and he raised an elegant eyebrow at the akuma. A level two? He had only heard about them from Tiedoll.

"_What is thiiiis?_" the akuma said, dragging out the words like a snake in the grass. "_What are yo-ou?" _ Kanda snorted, a smirk finding its way to his face as he raised Mugen. "I'm a exorcist and you are dead" and with that he attacked, moving fast and rapidly, not giving the akuma a stance to touch him. He sliced it, cut it but to his surprise his attacks didn't seem to have any effect on the monster. It's level two skin from the attacks. Keeping his distance, he stopped, weighing his options. The akuma, having just realised it had been attacked, started giggling. A disgusting sound and Kanda could feel anger boil inside of him. The blasted fuck dared laugh at him!

"_That's it, boy exorcist? Then let me show you my game!"_

With speed like a snake, it drove against Kanda, wrapping its tail around his midsection before he could react, and slamming him against the great wall of headquarters. He grunted in pain when it repeated the process several times, breaking the stone. The akuma stopped its attack, pulling him towards its disgusting face. "_You are no match for a level two-oo akuma_" it hissed, laughing. Kanda only stared at it, his clothes and hair in disorder but otherwise didn't look like he'd just been slammed several times through a wall. "Watch who you call a boy, vermin!" He growled, before slashing Mugen through the akumas tail, causing the demon to drop him on the ground where he quickly regained his footing while the monster screamed in agony and rage. It raised both its swords, insanity in its lonely eye as it attacked with a vicious growl. Kanda dodged the first attack, blocked the second and got hit hard in the chest by the third, sending him flying backwards. He quickly got up before the next round of attacks started to rain down on him. He blocked and returned the attacks, but never got any closer to the akuma. "Che." Kanda sneered as the akuma's sword cut through his close, missing its target as he quickly moved back.

oOo

The Gatekeeper had opened the door at Komui's command while the akuma were engaged in fighting Kanda and the finders inside quickly helped their comrades to safety.

Komui tried calling Kanda, to get the other inside, to safety. But the exorcist didn't hear him, or he ignored him- They couldn't tell. They all stared at Kanda and the akuma in fear and wonder as the door slammed shut behind them, leaving the exorcist alone with the enemy.

Matiss were taken to the infirmary and Carl walked up to Komui. "Will he be okay?" the finder asked. His white robe were completely drenched in blood.

Komui nodded. "I believe so. Kanda stopped the poison from spreading to the rest of his body. The head nurse will patch him up in no time. He'll have to live without the arm, but thinking of the alternative.."

"Big brother, we have to help him!" Lenalee wailed, starring in horror at the screens, her facial expression mirrored in the face of every other present in the monitor room – which was quite a lot since the rumour of the fight had spread throughout the order. Komui shared a look with Reever before kneeling down in front of his sister. "We can't Lenalee. But we can pray."

oOo

When the door slammed shut it got the attention of the akuma, who stared after its lost prey. Its anger rising, it turned to Kanda, its face twisted in rage. "_You robbed me of my prey!_" it screamed, diving for the young exorcist.

Kanda had also noticed the door, but unlike the akuma, he'd saw it when it opened. He knew the others were out of harms way. He knew he could unleash the hidden power of Mugen without hurting the innocent. Or the useless idiots as his mind referred to the finders as. He heard Komui call him, asking him to follow. His eyes had narrowed in anger. Calling him, asking him to give up! Fucking Komui.

Kanda Yuu didn't turn down a fight.

As the akuma attacked again, Kanda smirked as he held Mugen up in front of him, gently touching the root of the blade. A gentle blue light started to emerge from the blade, causing the Akuma to stop, hissing and unsure.

In a gently movement Kanda moved his fingers from the root of the blade to the tip. The pale blue light shone brighter as he uttered the words that would become dreaded among the akuma's throughout the world.

"Innocence. _Active_."

The steal blue blade began to shine with a bright blue fire as Kanda raised the sword in a mock salute to the demon. "Come and get me you disgusting bastard and let me send you through the seven gates of hell."

The akuma paused at his words, hesitating. Then, to Kanda's annoyance and – while he would never admit it to anyone – worry, it started to laugh again.

"_Your weapen weren't activated before?.. that's why yooou were so weak. So indifferent... But if you play with full power, so should I!"_ The akuma twisted and screamed, and Kanda felt his eyes widen slightly as it regrew its tail and armour seemed to grow out from its body. Long fangs appeared from its mouth, poison leaking from the tips.

"_Fight me exorcist. Fight me and die!_"  
And it attacked.

oOo

Kanda lifted a weakening hand to pull his hair out of his eyes. His clothes had been destroyed. Numerous cuts adored his body, and blood flowed from a deep gash in his leg. At the very least one rib broken, along with his left collarbone, leaving his left arm hanging in an unnatural angle and completely useless. He gritted his teeth at the laughing demon as it wrapped its long tail around him again, preparing one final hit.

As the demon started so squeeze the exorcist, Kanda felt a familiar sensation in his heart, a slight pickling from the depths of his very soul.  
The seal had begun the healing proces. He narrowed his eyes, allowing the demon to pull him closer. Kanda had been waiting for the seal to activate. He had yet to master its full capabilities and so the ability to use his very life force to flow into Mugen. The demon, thinking itself winning, pulled him closer, getting careless. He tightened his grip around Mugen and with a last energy reserve he swung the blade at the akuma's left swordarm, cutting it clean off. The pain took the demon by surprise, and while it howled in pain and rage, Kanda saw his chance. With another powerful stroke, he cut of the other sword, leaving the demon weaponless. It screamed in agony, slamming the exorcist down into the ground, knocking out his breath. Kanda felt slightly dizzy when he, to his immense displeasure, found that the akuma hadn't lost its strong grip around his abused body and didn't blow up as he'd hoped. He winched in pain when it tightned its grip, pulling him all the way up to its mouth and the abnormally big, blood coloured eye.

"_You.. annoying.. little.. ant.. let me kill you, let me kill you!_" it hissed, opening its mouth wide. Something in its eye caused something in Kanda's mind connect and in under a second he knew what he had to do. And in the next second he knew he had to react fast. A glint of steal from the akumas mouth was all the warning he got as a third blade shot from the demons mouth, directly towards him. Never missing a beat, he threw Mugen, forcing the blade directly through the eye of the akuma, the blade never stopping until the hilt reached the surface of the eye. A split second later he gasped in extreme, unbelievable pain as the sword from the akumas mouth pierced his chest. He felt the blade exit through his back. Involuntarily he coughed, blood dripping from his mouth. But he never broke contact with the akuma eye.

The demon managed a strangled cry of pain, before it exploded in a cloud of dust, dropping Kanda who hid the ground, hard, the blade still stuck in his chest. He sank to his knees, the pain too great for him to be able to stand up. He coughed up more blood, as the akuma blade dissolved into dust. He looked down, and saw the small pentagrams appear around the wound.

He curled together in the dust, unable to move anymore.

TBC

_Kanda fightning and Kanda hurt is also awesome. The third and last chapter is coming up._


	3. Chapter 3

**Essence**

_Summary: Kanda have very little respect for Finders, even less in his first months at the European Headquarters. They feel very much the same. Much is still to be learned about the new, bad tempered exorcist._

* * *

_Chapter three_

In a matter of a few seconds the order went from despair to happiness.

As soon as Kanda threw Mogen and pierced the Akuma's eye, the order knew he'd won. In the split second they'd all opened their mouth in a loud cheer, hands in the air and relief evident on all of their faces.

"Thank goodness.." Komui never got to finish his sentence, as what happened next caused the entire order to pause, faces frozen in happiness but their eyes horrified by what transpired on the grounds outside the order.

The rattled gasp of pain that sounded through the audio system alerted them before their eyes told them what'd happened. But the setting sun reflected its last light in the blade now emerging from the young exorcist's back, blood dripping on the ground from a deathly wound.

Then the akuma exploded and turned to dust. Gone in a matter of seconds. As its iron grip around Kanda disappeared, the exorcist fell to the ground but unlike the other times, he didn't land elegantly. He barely regained his footing before sinking to his knees, his one arm hanging limply from its socket. They saw the akuma blade turning to dust, leaving the wound in the exorcist's chest wide open. Kanda, front facing the headquarters, coughed, blood spelling over his lips as his other, uninjured hand supported him from falling to the ground.

The scientist's and finders alike all drew in breath when they saw the small pentagrams appear around the wound from the akumablade. Kanda coughed again, before crumbling facedown into the dirt, unmoving.

"_Kanda!_" Komui didn't even realise he'd shouted. He quickly grasped the microphone for inside announcements. "_Open the door, quickly! Get him in! We don't know if there any more lurking in the woods!_"

Before the last word had left his lips Lenalee had run out of the door, her young legs carrying her as fast as they could. Komui swore under his breath. He looked at Reever. "You stay here." he issued the order before taking after his sister. The science chief nodded weakly, turning his attention back to the screen in front of him.

When Komui arrived in the great entrance hall, the whole place was in a uproar. Finders and nurses and cooks and people _everywhere_. He saw Lenalee waiting by the door. He gave a inaudible sigh of relief that she hadn't let her feelings get the better of her. _She knew better than to go outside when there were akuma. _

His momentarily relief were however short lived when he saw two finders carry in the still form of Kanda Yuu.

The door closed behind them, and with great care the two finders gently put down the exorcist on the blanket quickly spread out by the nurses standing by. Komui knelt beside Kanda, his hands shaking as he sat down beside the two nurses checking up on the exorcist with great haste and care. The hall fell silent as they all stared at the hated exorcist. The pentagrams continued to spread over his body, although uncharacteristically slow. They saw the big hole in his chest, the deep gash in his leg. Blood had already started to pool around him. The long, black hair laid on the floor, out of its usual ponytail. Komui felt his eyebrows raise slightly in surprise at the sight of what appeared to be a tattoo across the boys chest. The broken collarbone had broken through the skin when Kanda fell from the akuma, the useless arm s blueish hue from lack of circulation. The exorcist's didn't move. He didn't breathe.

Komui watched as the nurse took Kanda's puls. He knew they should get all these people away, but all thoughts of giving the exorcist some privacy went out the window when the nurse lifted her head to look him in the eye. He felt true despair whenshe shook her head, sadness in her eyes. The surrounding people looked away, shocked and in denial. None of them haboured any warm feelings for the foul tempered exorcist. But, they didn't want to see his body turn into nothing. Not after he saved them. Lenalee stepped closed, standing beside her brother.

"Kanda.. no," she whispered, the grief in her young voice causing tears to form in many eyes.

Komui stood up, embracing Lenalee. She buried her face in his lap coat, crying and shaking. Komui himself closed his eyes as he put his arms around his sister, the pain over loosing Tiedolls young apprentice making it impossible for him to look at the abused body. The nurses stood up and took a step back, heads bowed in respect for the exorcist's sacrifice.

All heads bowed in grief and respect, none noticed the twitching of his brow. Lenalee, being closest too her as-good-as-friend as she had come to think of him, opened one eye when she heard a low wheezing sound. She looked up at her brother, who seemed too absorbed in his own grief to notice. She glanced around. Nobody said anything, they all had their heads bowed. Now both of her eyes open, she dared to look at Kanda again. She almost screamed in shock when he stared right back at her.

For a few seconds they stared at each other, Lenalee fixed by the cold, blue stare of the boy she thought was dead. Her head were already going over all the medical knowledge she'd gathered in her short life, looking for an explanation on how the dead could open their eyes. It seemed like forever, but later she realized it had only been a second or two. '_Dead people can't open their eyes._' her mind reasoned with her.

She stared at Kanda's face and saw something move in his eyes, a small movement of his brow, a slight twist of his arm. '_But the living can!_'

Before she got the chance to react however Kanda beat her to it. The small, bare audibly wheezing sound Lenelee had heard seemed to have been one, long intake of air. The hall were as silent as the grave, when suddenly a sharp cough followed by a groan of pain broke through the silence. Everywhere eyes shot open, disbelieving shouts following, Komui nearly falling backwards when Lenalee broke free from his embrace.

"He's not dead!" Lenalee all but screamed as she fell to her knees beside her friend, as the surrounding people became witness to something that would become rumour and later legend among the staff of the black order.

The destroyed, broken body had started to breath, to _live. _Taking small gasps of air, Kanda's face twisted in agony as the pentagrams – the symbol of the lethal akuma poison – started to disappear from his body, leaving no trace of having ever been there. Kanda started to involuntarily shake as his body went into shock, his right arm cramping and his breathing became rapidly more difficult as as he threw up more blood. His right arm, twisting and cramping because of the heavy strain on his body, shot up to involuntarily clutch his chest, in a childish attempt to keep the giant wound together. However, the movement caused him to accidentally touch his broken collarbone, causing him to grip around the actual bone that had punctured his skin. In a split second his eyes widened, his pupils shrinking until you only could see his bright, blue irises. A strangled scream of pain sounded from him, and his back ached of the ground as the damaged from the akuma hit him with full force.

The scream woke the surrounding spectators from their stunned silence. Shouts of wonder and confusion and no little amount of fear echoed through the now bustling hall as the nurses quickly pushed Komui and Lenalee aside to gather around the now breathing Kanda who had closed his eyes again but otherwise seemed very much alive.

"Get me a stretcher!" a nurse yelled, as she and the others put pressure on the profoundly bleeding wounds. Kanda cursed through his teeth in with such ferocity that  
the ones closets to him turned bright red. Komui, still in shock from seeing somebody return from the dead, pulled Lenalee back, giving the nurses the room they needed to do their job. The stretcher arrived a few seconds later, and with little effort the nurses lifted the young man, who now appeared to have fallen unconscious, before running off, through the sea of people who spilt like Moses crossing the red sea, the nurse in front screaming for somebody to get matron and to prepare the operation room. As they disappeared from view, everybody turned to Komui, a look of wonder and fear on their face.

The chief did little to reassure them. Their look were mirrored on his own face.

"Go back to your duties." Komui said weakly, turning around and heading back to the monitor room. He needed to talk with his team.

"Chief, what the hell just.." began one finder, but was cut off when Komui raised his hand.

"I'll let you know as soon as I have any idea myself. Now go please."

oOo

Kanda knew that he'd died when he opened his eyes. He saw the celling of the entrance hall. The last thing he remembered were falling headfirst into the ground, outside of the order. He hurt all over, but feeling how his lungs protested against the lack of air he knew that he had to draw breath soon unless he wanted to die again.

He attempted, and almost passed out again from the effort. _Damn hell, that hurt! _He was vaguely aware of the weird sound he made but disregarded it. He knew his chest had been pulled apart. He tried to move his head but were unable to perform this task. He glanced to his left, only to stare right into Lenaless big, violet eyes. Her eyes were full of tears, and he felt something unpleasant in his chest at the sight. An aching, not related to his current state. Noticing he'd spent the last forty or something seconds on breathing _in_, he realized that he also had to breath _out_.

'_Isn't it just my damn lucky day.' _He tried to ease out the breath, not wanting to gain the attention of the people he assumed surrounding him. However he felt the breath getting caught in his chest, and involuntarily he coughed, more blood spilling over his lips. _'Well, fuck me.' _were the last conscious thought he managed to think before his body returned to life and with it a wave of pain. Losing all focus on the things around him, he felt the seal pulling him together, cell by cell, and _did it hurt!_ I  
n his delusion he was vaguely aware of the people around him, but he soon lost all interest in them. The pain from his collarbone, as he by mistake grabbed onto, made him scream. Even before he'd stopped screaming he'd already started scolding himself for such a lack of control. Suddenly he felt hands all over him, pressing down on his wounds and _hell_ if he thought the collarbone had hurt it was nothing compared to the unrelenting hands of the black order medical staff. Cursing like a shipwrecked sailor, he attempted weakly to pry their hands off him, the pain making it hard to think straight. Kanda felt his mind beginning to slip and for once he gladly allowed himself to fall into the darkness.

oOo

_The following day_

The hours following Kanda Yuu miraculously recovery had been odd, even by Black Order standards. Komui had disappeared into his office along with Reever and several other scientists. Lenalee had been in the hospital ward ever since her fellow exorcist had been transferred there, sitting by his bedside. All the other black order personal had been in a state of shock, but it hadn't taken long before the rumour mill had started. The idea that Kanda had somehow been turned into an akuma seemed to be the most popular one, causing most of the order to walk around in fear. Some tried to focus on the fact that Kanda had saved several finders, but the deed quickly got lost among the rapid growing theories on how the exorcist had survived.

It were in this state that general Froi Tiedoll returned to the black order, his apprentices Noise Marie and Daisya Barry in tow. They walked calmly towards the gate, when Marie suddenly stopped, tilting his head as if listening intently.  
"What is it Marie?" asked Tiedoll, stopping beside the younger man.

"I'm not sure.. some is different. Something has happened while we're away." Marie answered, a unsure frown on his face. Daisya had run ahead of the two, looking around. He noticed the blood on the ground, when something caught his eye. He ran forward and gasped. "General!" he yelled, causing both Tiedoll and Marie to run up to him.

"What is it, what have you found?" asked Tiedoll, his voice calm and even as ever.  
Daisya turned around, and Tiedoll found himself a little shocked. There, in Daisya's hands, were Mugen. Kandas Innocence.

"Something defiantly happened here." Daisya put in, weighing the kantana in his hands. "Kanda would never leave his sword behind."  
Tiedoll shook his head, having noticed the blood on the ground several feet from them. "No he would not. However, I believe we can find the answer to our questions inside." Daisya now also noticed the blood trail on the ground, leading directly to the gate.

"Wow.." the turk muttered. Marie walked up besides them. "What is it?" he asked softly.  
Daisya looked up. "Oh, there's lots and lots of blood on the ground. And I just found Mugen lying in the dirt." Marie looked greatly disturbed by the information, and the trio quickly walked towards the gate.

"General Tiedoll!" the three of them had barely made it inside the order before they were ambushed by Komui. Froi Tiedoll regarded the heavy breathing branch chief who seemed to have been running a great distance.

"Komui." Tiedoll nodded, his eyes kind but there were a more serious undertone in his calm voice. "What has transpired whilst I were away?"

Komui looked surprised. "...what?" he gasped, seemingly confused that the general had asked _him _a questione. With a nod from Tiedoll, Daisya held Mugen up in front of Komuis face. The branch chief sucked in his breath. _They'd forgotten Mugen outside!? Kanda would kill him! And Reever! And Hevlaska! _

"Why is Kanda's Innocence lying outside in a pool of blood in front of the gate?"  
Komui scratched his head sheepishly. "About that.." he began, knowing no matter how he broke the news to the caring the general, it would cause great worry.

Tiedoll sat beside Kanda's bed, watching the young man he'd come to love as his own son, with sorrow in his bright, gentle eyes. He'd been told everything. How an argument with a finder had caused Kanda to storm off. How a level two had attacked the order last night. How Kanda had _died.  
_

Tiedoll sighed. He'd spent a good deal of time explaining Kanda's special condition to Komui. Without going into detail – he himself not knowing that much about it – he'd explained the function of the seal on Kanda's chest, how it could revive him and heal him from even death itself. Komui had been silent while the general had explained everything to him.

"That is why he's never hurt when he returns from missions." Komui said, a frown on his face. He didn't like that. The order kept journals of every injury the exorcists and finder substantiated while on a mission. Kanda left a giant hole in the statistic.

Tiedoll nodded. "He gets hurt all the time. He can get pretty reckless because he's not afraid of dying. That is actually why I left him here. I believed he needed a break from all the fighting."

Komui gave a dry laugh. "That didn't work out very well." he said, rubbing his forehead.

Tiedoll shook his head. "I worry about that boy." he said, his voice heavy.

Komui raised an eyebrow. "Why, if he can't be killed?"

"I'm not worried about him getting hurt – you've seen it yourself, he's tough. Tougher than most." Tiedoll removed his glasses and gently rubbed his eyes before standing up.

"No I'm worried that he doesn't seem to value his life. Or the life of others. He view life differently than most of the order members. It has no value to him. It's dispensable."

Komui nodded, understanding the generals concern. He frowned. "What shall I tell the order? I don't assume this seal of his is common knowledge?"

Tiedoll smiled sadly. "Call it a miracle."

Komui nodded grimly. "They won't believe it."

"They don't have too. Now excuse me, I have to go visit my son."

oOo

_The next day, afternoon_

Kanda opened his eyes, a action he immediately regretted. The bright light burned through his skull and he quickly shot his eyes again. He felt like shit, but a careful glance to his left shoulder confirmed that there no longer were any bones out of place. A look at his heavily bandaged chest confirmed that that too had been dealt with properly. He tried to sit up and whinched when his chest protesting aggressively against the movement. He gritted his teeth and forced himself until he was in a sitting position. He looked around, weary of his surroundings.

He was in the infirmary. He frowned. Why was he there? He healed just as well in his own bed.

Mood dropping faster than his blood pressure the previous day, his gaze fell on the person sitting beside him. Lenalee.

The young girl were asleep, half draped over his bed. His frown deepend. Why was she here?

Before he got to wonder any further about why she would sleep in such an fashion, she opened her eyes and yawned. When she saw Kanda was awake and looking at her she shrieked, before throwing herself around his neck. Pain shooting through his body, Kanda let out a string of curses as he attempted to wriggle out of the girl's tight hug. "For fucks sake Lenalee, _let go of me_!" he almost sighed with relief when the girl let go of him. He noticed, to his great discomfort, that she'd tears in her eyes. _Again_.

"Why do you cry al the time?" he grumbled. She smiled through her tears.

"I'm so happy you're okay!" she beamed, and for a second he thought she would throw herself around him again. Kanda bristled before eying her suspiciously. "Why?" he deadpanned.

Her smile never leaving her face, she simply dried her eyes. She'd been getting used to Kanda's one track mind and didn't mind his rough tone. "Because you are my friend Kanda. I love you, just as I love my brother!" she beamed, taking his hand in hers. "I'm so happy.."

Kanda felt uncomfortable. He knew it was frowned upon to make girls cry. But he hadn't meant too! Before he could answer a new voice joined in.

"Yuu, you're awake!"

Lenelee looked ove her shoulder at general Tiedoll, the smile never leaving her face as the gentle general walked towards the two young exorcists. Kanda on the other hand looked sourly at his master, blue eyes promising the general a slow death for the use of his first name. Tiedoll didn't notice, being used to Kanda's less than pleasing looks, as he stopped beside the infirmary bed.

"Dearest Lenalee, can I please have a moment alone with Kanda?" Tiedoll asked politely the young girl. She giggled. "Of course!" she jumped out of the chair, but before she ran off she quickly threw her arms around Kanda one more time. Kanda stiffened when he felt her lips touch his cheek. _Just what the damn hell?!  
_

"Sorry!" Lenalee said, blushing slightly. "I'm just so happy!"

And then she was gone, leaving Kanda to stare dumbfound after her. He would never understand how her mind worked.

Tiedoll chuckled. "You really seem to have bonded with Lenalee." he commented, smiling. "I'm glad."

Kanda huffed, leaning back into his pillow. "Girl's a complete manic." he grumbled sourly.

Tiedoll frowned. "Now now Yu, it's not nice to talk about your friends like that."

"_Don't call me that_!" Kanda hissed like an alley cat. "I talk however the fuck I please." Then, as a afterthought. "I don't have friends." he then stated, folding his arms in front of his chest in what most would describe as a pout but oddly enough seemed rather intimidating on the young samurai.

Tiedoll just smiled. _We don't always get to chose for our self dear boy.  
_

Kanda looked back at his master. "What do you want old man? When did you come back?" he sneered, feeling oddly on edge by the continued gentle smile Tiedoll looked at him with.

"I returned this morning with Daisya and Marie. I've heard your fight against the level two." Tiedoll explained, his voice gentle. Kanda refused to look at him, staring straight ahead.

"I'm very proud of you Yuu." Tiedoll said. Kanda threw him a side glance. Secretly he was rather shocked at the words. "Why?" he asked, his voice angry. "I got beaten to shit by an akuma."

"You beat it, despite your injury. For one your age to kill an level two is beyond anything the order have ever seen before."  
Kanda shrugged, he didn't see the big deal. "Che, whatever."  
Tiedoll smiled. "Also, I have this for you." he reached for an item behind his back. Kanda eyed his master with suspicion until he saw what the man had in his hands.

"Mugen." Kanda said, reaching for the blade. Tiedoll gave it to him. Kanda carefully unsheathed the sword. The blade was spotless.

"Daisya found it outside the order. Apparently nobody seemed to think about getting it after you fell unconscious yesterday."  
Kanda felt anger boil up inside him. _They'd forgotten Mugen? OUTSIDE?!  
_

"But, everything is in order now so no need to press the subject any further." Tiedoll smiled.

"I cleaned it myself."  
Kanda didn't look at him, he bowed his head over the sword. The long hair concealing his face, Tiedoll heard what could've been a thank you. Or a fuck off. He settle for the first option.

"You're welcome Yuu."  
Before Kanda got any chance to utter yet another angry retort, a loud voice interrupted them.

"Is our favorite sword wielding grumpypants awake?" Kanda bristled when Daisya walked into view, followed by Marie. The turk grinned at him. Kanda growled back.

"He is!" Daisya proclaimed, throwing his arm around the younger boy.

Marie smiled. "I'm glad you're ok Kanda." the big man said as he sat down beside Tiedoll.

"We sure are, kid! We were just talking with some finders, about what you did yesterday. Damn fine job, kid!" Kanda tried to wrestle out of the others embrace. "Let go of me, you moron!" he snapped, Tiedoll quickly removed Mugen before Kanda remembered it rested on the bed.

Daisya laughed. "Nah, no chance!"

"I SAID LET GO IDIOT TURK!"

"Daisya, let go of him! He's still healing!"

The nurses all looked down the hall when the raised voices became loud enough for them to hear. They saw Froi Tiedoll sitting beside the bed, tears in his eyes and a smile on his face, Noise Marie smiling (although he did cover his ears) while Kanda and Daisya seemed to have some sort of wrestling match. Or that's what Kanda thought. In Daisya's mind he were simply hugging his teammate. But with Kanda, who could really tell the difference.

TBC

* * *

_I'll wrap this up with a nice, little e__pilogue.  
__I know I said this would be the last, but then I changed my mind._

_Please review!_


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